My Story

   My Story

I hear my own sobs, not because the wounds that bind in the chest not because of the test that hit, but this is because of the happiness that suddenly came to greet me ....

"Rim, may you ask for your phone number ?? it was Arif who asked him "

Those are the words that are really thrilling, torn apart this soul trembles both my hands and do not feel the tears pouring down in my cheeks.

I ran to my Mighrab, gratitude to Allah.

I used to admire him so much, so much my race to him as if I wanted to force him to be mine.

I admire him with my lust, the passion that is so great want to have him and until finally only the wound 

I received.

Wicked women for men who are heinous, and men

the abominable for the abominable women also, whereas

good women for good men and men

which is good for good women too. They

clean of what people allege. They get forgiveness

and the noble sustenance (Heaven). ~ Qs. An-Nur: 26

This verse made me realize, and made me feel ashamed of myself. How can not he whom I desire is a man

who is so obedient to Allah, so light step to the mosque to fulfill his duty, yes it is him ... ..a very different

from my dirty self, always accompanied by my sins ,, , How can i get it while i'm still like this, well I'm too 

stupid too big with my selfish.

Time passes day by day I pass, I still with improvement myself "I want to emigrate" that is embedded in 

my heart now. Begin to cultivate what is inherent in my body, I start my hijab I always unveil the first I think

only decoration only as a mere obligation without thinking about what is taught in the Qur'an.  

O Prophet! Say to your wives and children
your women and the wives of the believers, "let them
cover the veil all over their bodies. "
to make them more recognizable so they are not harassed.
And Allah is Forgiving, Most Merciful. ~ Qs. Al-Ahzab: 59

I just realized this verse now. It's not easy because I have to face the satire of those who do not like 

the changes to me now

"Where are you going ??? !!!!!!!!!!!"

 " recitation to where mom ????? !!!!!!!!!!!""Yeah pious now""Dihh this is not really worth it !! remember the age 

of love is still young happy first"Words that often make me wobble and sometimes I'm affected by what 

they say.

Day after day I went through and it all feels lighter .."How are you doing with Arif now "I tried to track

 his name in a friend search in my Facebook, but nil I did not find it, I tried to search in My Instagram 

account, and the same I did not find the account.

When Zulaikha pursues her love of the Prophet Yusuf

Allah keeps yusuf from him, But when Zulaikha pursues Allah love

Allah brings Yusuf for him.

A post in instagram that really grabbed my heart, yes I have changed a little but I changed because I want 

to get it not just hoping from Allah, it's my fault I'm more hopeful to the creature than the Dzat who 

created it.

I spilled my tears in my third night, I hope forgiveness from Allah. I took all my dreams side by side with 

Allah creature. What I hope now is only the blessing of Allah.

I am more and more calm myself now, with a self that is increasingly attached to his verses

.... ................................................. ........

During the day after her mom asking for my phone number, I accidentally see  Arif dressing up so neatly 

with one big suitcase that he was holding. His house from the location of my boarding house is not far away 

only 2 houses so it is so clear I see it. 


 

"Where are you going?" I asked silently Ahhh it's none of your business rim do not you have no taste to him, 

I reply silently trying to calm down.

I turned my gaze as he passed me, after the move passed Mr Hadi my front-room neighbor said to me

 "The more exciting the mas Arif is now Rim ...""Why sir?" I asked trying to find an explanation"After 

school, now he continues his study in Medina

" what ?? Madinah ?? he to Madinah ?? mas Arif to Medina ??

God what's wrong with me why feels there is a wedge in the heart, do not I should be happy, because 

he went far there to increase his religious knowledge, then why with my heart, I please throw all my 

races to him if I'm finally not with him.I have not expected him but I beg you to take care of him in 

his obedience at least in the case of things you do not allow.At night I heard my rings ringing, I saw 

that number I did not know. 

"Hallo assalamu'alaikum""Wa'alaikum regards, sorry with who is this?" I replied"This is Arif, Rim

"deg ,,,,,, there is a sudden vibration penetrating in the heart. And for a moment I could not say

 "Haloo Rim," 

 "Hello Rima, this is Rima right?"

 "Oh yes, Arif, what is it?"

 "No what rim, I want to ask for help please ??"

 "Ohh yes please please,"

 "Please convey to my mother, tell her if there is a bit of obstacle here"

 "What are the constraints?"

 "I do not get tea bag numbers, so I can not grab my suitcase"

 "yes can, so I will say later"

 "Good thanks, assalamualaikum"

 "Yes ,,,, waalaikum salam"

There is a sense of joy in my heart, when I was after him I was only able to look at him from far away even 

talking to him I never, mobile phone number or social media account that I always looking for never find me.

 But now when I am willing to take it off, when I just pursue the love of the Essence of the Creator, God 

brings him closer to me.

Oh My God is this a good sign from you ?? is he really for me ?? so you brought him closer when I started 

to love You. If indeed he will be my destiny someday then we unite with your way, do not let there is unlawful 

love in my heart, and do not you make this taste greater than my races to You.

After the phone closed I hurried to go home Arif. I convey a message from Arif to the father and mother.